I’ve looked up to a lot of people in my life. My parents, my sister, aunts, cousins, teachers.
Maybe it’s because I’m a girl, but I’ve always found my biggest inspirations in other women. And it’s with that in mind that I continue to weigh the pros and cons of what lay in my future.
You see, I have a girl myself. A 10 year old, amazingly smart, beautiful, stubborn, helpful, energetic daughter that will forever remember the woman I was – the woman I am and am still becoming.
What do I want her to see? It’s a question I’ve asked myself since the first time I looked into her face and saw the vulnerability of this child, this girl that was so dependent on me.
It’s affected every decision I’ve made since.
When Reagan looks at me, first and foremost I want her to see love. Unconditional love. Not just for her and my husband, but for the people that are the most difficult to love. The people that other people DON’T love. The ones who need it the most.
I want her to see strength. Not in myself, but in my relationship with the Almighty. I want her to know my flaws and see firsthand how God works despite them, sometimes, even because of them.
I want her to see a fighter. Someone who stands up for her. A woman who sticks by her friends. A woman that doesn’t let anyone tell her that she couldn’t do something.
I want her to see a woman of peace. Who does not relish in being right so much as in being quietly affirmed in her own decisions and beliefs. A woman who listens to others and turns to the wise for counsel, but a woman that makes her own decisions and then is at peace with them. A woman at peace despite the ebbs and flows of this journey we call life.
I want her to see a woman that never stopped trying to grow, to learn, to understand other people better.
I could go on and on.
But I guess, to sum it all up, I want Reagan to be fearless. Fearless of naysayers. Fearless of failure. Fearless of love and its risks. Fearless of life.
I am by no means a fearless person. Yet. But it’s because of those people I looked and still look up to that makes me confident. It is their influence that has helped me overcome my fears.
I hope Reagan is as blessed to have people like that in her life. And I hope I am at the top of the list. I hope as she grows up, she looks at her mama, the way I look at mine and many other women I have been so fortunate to know, and says, ” I want to be a woman like that.”