This week, a very sweet person lost her husband to cancer. I worked with this woman and have known her for years and years. I was very sad to hear the news. Even more sad as I went to the visitation last night and saw years of photographs showing a couple that was obviously very much in love.
This woman’s husband passed away in the same unit of the hospital where my dad received his bone marrow transplant nearly 5 years ago. Her husband never got strong enough to undergo a transplant.
I will forever question why some people live through terrible health ordeals and others don’t. Why some survive horrific accidents and others don’t. Why some people seem to get more than their ‘fair’ share of suffering on this earth. Some people say we shouldn’t question things like that, but, being human, I can’t help it. And I firmly believe that God’s okay with our questions. He made us to feel, to relate, to have hearts that break – I believe He understands when we feel like life just isn’t fair to some people. I also believe that our Heavenly Father hurts with us when we hurt. Not because He can’t make everything better, but because He sees the bigger picture and knows what is best and yet He knows that our finite minds cannot comprehend His plans and in those finite minds our hurts are real and because He loves us, He hurts with us.
I’ve heard many preachers expound on why “Jesus wept” when Lazarus died. And it’s certainly open to interpretation. But I’ll tell you what I believe – I believe that Jesus, the friend, the brother that he was to so many, the human Christ, felt the hurt of his grieving friends and was moved to tears. He knew what he was going to do and that Lazarus would live again – but in that moment, he was moved with compassion and just simply hurt with his people.
It’s these kinds of images that make me draw closer to Him. The images of a friend that hurts when we hurt, rejoices when we rejoice, and is big enough for all of the questions that our simple minds can conjure – with no judgement. Sometimes we just need to grieve, to question, to weep – it’s a comfort to me to know that my Savior is also my friend and will grieve and weep with me and one day, I will have all the answers to every question I had, just by looking upon His face.