Change is scary…..sometimes. Other times it’s like a welcome mat in front of a door that leads to exciting and unforseen possibilities. I’ve never been one to play it safe. Sometimes I charge through the first open door I see because I’m so ready, so anxious, for something different.
Right now, I’m in a room full of locked doors. Metaphorically speaking, of course. And it’s driving me a little batty. I hate being tied to something I don’t want, don’t feel like is benefitting me in any way. It’s a time of waiting, of praying, and hoping. Very rarely in my life have I been held back by circumstances, but that’s what is happening right now. I find myself, like so many times before, depending on God to come through. To make a way where there seems to be none.
And I’m all about lessons – what can I learn in this place of waiting?
Firstly, I can learn contentment. Contentment and apathy have a fine line so I stretch myself over the line of “I don’t care anymore” to “I have enough. I am enough. God is enough.”
Secondly, I change the things I can. And there are plenty of self-improvements to be made. A baby-step here, a decision there….they add up to long term changes that make me better. I can’t change my circumstances, but I can (with God’s help) be renewed in my thinking and adjust my sails for the winds where I currently find myself.
Thirdly, and perhaps the hardest of all, is to stop stop stop thinking so far ahead. I do this in my marriage, my parenting, my career….to the point that I stop appreciating and living in this moment – overlooking the things that are opportunities for small, everyday differences I can make in my life, and in the lives of others, today.
If I ever stop growing, stop learning, I don’t want to exist. And even though I feel stuck in one area of my life, I am so free in countless others. To make a difference. To make sure I make my time count.
The little things always end up being the big things. This year, this day, I will work hardest on those.