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My first thought when I hear the word “craving” is food.

Having experienced them myself, I know that they do indeed mean “a powerful desire for something.”

When I saw the title of this list though, my thoughts did not (surprisingly) turn to food. I guess cravings are mostly born of deprivation. When I look at the list I created, it’s mostly about things of which I never seem to have enough.

Such as…………

1)      Downtime

I didn’t have to think long about this at all.  I have workaholic tendencies and/or perfectionist issues. These are the worst possible enemies of having regular and quality downtime.

I feel guilty when I’m not busy.

I overextend myself often and have a hard time saying “no.”

My people pleasing habits are getting better though. Therapy has helped me get a handle on that and given me some insight into why I developed those habits to begin with.

2)      Time Alone

*sigh*

I love my family and friends and I think my craving for alone time comes from the fact that I deprive myself of it on purpose, because I know that relationships take work and effort.

I often put my own mental, emotional, and physical needs last and the result is almost a desperation to just be by myself for a day. No obligations. No appointments. Just me and whatever I do or don’t want to do.

Adulting does not often allow this to happen. So I’ve gotten to where I MAKE it happen. I’m learning that my very sanity depends on it. I’m better FOR other people when I have alone time.

3)      Time with Friends

I am lucky to work for the same company as two of my dearest friends. Being in the same building with one of them is really special. Being close enough to have a regular lunch date with the other is great.

But there are so many friends that I want to get to know better. There are experiences I’d love to share with them that involve our common interests.

The problem is that there are only so many hours in the day. Prioritizing can be hard and schedules conflict. I’m just glad the friends I have understand my nature and we always are able to pick up where we left off, even if it has been a while since we had a legitimate visit.

4)      Time with Family

Time with Reagan and Shey is so often about our day-to-day life. And I’m thankful for that. But I do wish we had the means for some long getaways from home.

Sometimes that seems like the only way we really get tuned in to each other as a family is when we’re out of our normal settings.

And my extended family? Even my immediate family as in my parents, grandmothers, cousins? I never get to see them enough. Every time I go home, I am flooded with a feeling of “I need to be here more”.

5)      Sleep

I don’t know any working parent, whether your kids are 9 months or 19 years old, that don’t crave more sleep.

Really don’t feel like I need to explain myself on this one.

6)      Travel

I crave seeing new things and new places and having new experiences.

I probably write about Mobile so much y’all are sick of reading about it, but it’s one of those places that you can’t ever see everything that’s good about it in one trip, so I go back again and again.

And it’s economically feasible for me to visit someplace like Mobile often because it takes me such little fuel to get there and back. I also have free room and board when I go, so…………

I heard a saying a while back, “If I had money to travel, you’d never see me again.”

That describes me to a t.

7)      Change

I’m one of those people that likes to rearrange furniture just for the change of perspective.

Not all change is good, and there are some things that I enjoy being the same. I need some things to be unchanging.

But I get dissatisfied very easily. Restless. It’s a dangerous way to be at times. Change for the sake of change isn’t always a good idea.

But I have always been this way. Haven’t gotten far enough in my therapy yet to tackle this issue.

8)      Physical Affection

For the most part, I love to be hugged. I love for my husband, my daughter, my grandmother to just hold my hand. I love to lay down on my sister’s lap and have her pet my hair. I love to lay down next to Shey and lay my head on his chest.

9)      Music

Having Amazon Prime has been the greatest gift I ever gave myself because of my music problem.

I am all nostalgic when it comes to my musical choices and I have a lot of “retro” tunes on my playlist. Songs that remind me of simpler times, or happy times, or that get me pepped up for a workout.

I crave music in my life. I’ll get to thinking about a particular song I used to love and, thanks to Amazon, I can usually listen to it for free within moments of remembering it. Technology is so wonderful!

Shey bought me a Bluetooth speaker for Christmas and now I jam out every morning while I’m getting ready for work. I think it’s one of the best gifts he’s ever given me.

10)   Words

I don’t crave “words” per sé, but I do crave the release of them. Writing is not just a want-to for me. Especially not in the last year or so. It’s a have-to. I have given myself over to this part of myself and thoughts and words and phrases and ideas build up in me like water against a dam.

I also crave to hear and see words of others. Not only because I love to read, but I love for people to express their feelings toward me in words.

I find that, more and more, since I have publicly identified myself as a writer, people seem more and more reluctant to do that. I’ve even had people say to me that they don’t feel like they use words as well as I do so they feel inadequate in expressing affection or appreciation for me in that way.

That makes me sad, because I’m not judging your use of language when you tell me how you feel about me. I’m soaking in all the meaning behind it.

Writers, perhaps more than anyone, need to be told, in words, that they are loved and why. Not because (or not ONLY because) we are egotistical, insecure creatures. But because words are life, and they breathe life into us.

 

*Tomorrow will mark the beginning of Lent, a time that is usually for reflection and fasting before Easter.

I find it ironic that in order to have proper introspection, I will need to “satisfy” some of the cravings on this list, i.e. alone time, downtime, etc.

In any case, let me take this opportunity to wish you a Happy Mardi Gras and a meaningful Lenten season. As I proceed through Lent, I generally receive some strokes of inspiration. I look forward to sharing them here.

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