I write tonight from a place of great uncertainty in my life.
Because of respect for privacy, I will not be sharing details as to why. Just know that if my writing becomes absent from this space, or if what you read sounds painful, it’s because I am in a painful place.
So why even say anything if I’m going to be so vague?
I am so emotionally weary. And it is often in these times that I need writing the most. But much of what I need to write at this moment and in the moments ahead cannot be shared with you. Maybe one day, but not now. And if I can’t write anything else, I needed to at least put that out there.
I do not feel responsible to any audience. You’re all big boys and girls. And I am an adult (at least that’s what my driver’s license implies).
But all I can say is that, one way or another, I’m about to have to dig personally deeper than I ever have before in my life.
Physically, I’m fine. We’re all fine. So please don’t worry.
I usually put my posts up in Facebook. But I’m not going to this time. If you’re reading this, it’s either because you subscribe to A Pensieve View or because I haven’t posted from here to Facebook in a while and you got curious.
If the latter is true, and I ignore your messages on Facebook, don’t take it personally.
I write as honestly and authentically as possible. I cannot do that right now. There are times, even for me, when certain things are just too personal.
I have so much I want to do with this creative space. So many dreams for what I can do with my gift. But sometimes dreams and wants have to be put on hold. Not forever. Just during a refining period.
I’ve been through some fires of refinement before. Many of them painful beyond what I thought my aching heart could bear. But I did bear it. I will bear this one also.
The heat of this particular flame remains to be known to me.
It might reduce me to ashes, but I will rise.