I drive about 35-40 minutes one way to work, then 35-40 minutes back home. I pay a subscription to XM Satellite Radio. But some days, I just drive in silence.
I set my clock for 5:30 every weekday morning. And I get up, pour a cup of coffee, and then sit. In silence.
I usually come home and sit on my patio after work. In silence.
I often take my lunch to the park and sit, in silence.
I crave it. Silence. Peace.
The phones, the emails, the constant conversations happening around me. They eventually make me long for a retreat. Into silence.
I love to read. Love to talk to people. Converse with friends and family. Write.
But my mind is weary lately. And all I desire is simply…..quiet.
The world is so noisy. When I’m home, alone, which is rare, the tv is hardly ever on.
I am not afraid of being alone with myself with only my thoughts for company.
I’m tired of only having an hour or two of solace here and there. The sunrises and sunsets are pleasant, calming. These blessed moments of no noise and no demands are precious, but all too fleeting. They are merely a bandaid on a wound that requires much more care and attention. My mind, my body, my spirit – they’re all pressuring me for solitude.
3 more days and I will take it. The whole day maybe. Maybe just a few blissful hours. But I will make it happen. I will make it happen. I will retreat. And I will be healed.