I like to think of myself as independent. Self-sufficient.
And then I have to laugh.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
My family, my friends, my faith. All of these things sustain me.
In fact, introverted as I am, and as much as I need space, need to be removed from people occasionally, there are not many things I fear more than loneliness.
Because I have been lonely. Even within relationships. And there is nothing quite so miserable.
But, truth be told, we often have to face what we fear the most in order to overcome it.
Tomorrow morning, I’m rising before the sun and driving east until I can’t drive any further. It’s part of a personal pilgrimage I felt I needed to make.
When I planned it, I decided to go alone. And then I started to panic. And I began to backtrack.
For various reasons, the usual suspects that would oblige my whimsy were not available as shotgun riders. And I didn’t ask but a couple of people. Because I knew.
Deep down, I knew.
I needed to make this 48 hour-or-so journey on my own.
A few years ago, Reagan’s dad moved out of state. 6 hours away turned into 9. He makes it back here when he can, but I know those are long trips for him. And while it was his choice to move, and he’s never asked me to come get her or bring her to him, I’ve just been itching for a road trip.
I just took one, of course, to the beach with some of my female relatives, but I was sick the whole time. And I’ve never traveled alone. And spent some time at my destination, alone.
For many reasons, I think I need this.
I need the introspection.
I need the inspiration.
And, weary as the driving might make me, I feel like I will get some level of recharge from the experience.
I’m looking forward to writing about the experience, which just shows me how much good it’s already done me and I haven’t even left yet. Because it’s making me look forward to writing. And I haven’t been feeling much in the way of creativity these days.
Hopefully this short but lengthy journey will provide the spark that I’m needing right now. Sometimes stepping outside of our routine and comfort zone provides the remedy for a creative, mental, and emotional rut.
So, bring on the adventure. Life is going to happen whether we’re moving or standing still. I’d rather be actively seeking life than just waiting for it to come to me. Who knows what lessons the journey has in store? There’s only one way to find out.