The last few weeks have been hectic. Weekends have involved trying to prep our house to put on the market and the work weeks have meant some long, extra hours, just to stay ahead of an onslaught of issues and responsibilities.
Writing has taken a back seat, unfortunately. As well as reading posts by others and interacting with my community of people here on WordPress.
No rest for the weary appears to be imminent, but I’m going to try to do better. Writing is a stress reliever for me, and I’m feeling the effects of not having exercised that skill in my mental and physical health. This post, for example, feels….rough. It is entirely unplanned and off-the-cuff. But when writing is hard, that’s when I should be writing the most. Pushing through. Writing crap. Just exercising the muscle that gets lazy so quickly and easily.
My philosophical side is lately overridden by my practical side. So my mind is doing its best to convert these thoughts into a post.
Most people will say that building a house is one of the most stressful things a person can ever do, and can put extensive strain on a relationship.
We haven’t starting the actual building process yet, but I find that the opposite seems to be true in my life.
The future project gives me somewhere to take my mind that is away from my work/life stress. I am a daydreamer, so when I find myself in the midst of a crazy, aggravating day (of which there have been many lately) I mentally escape to the construction. Or visualizing the successful sale of our existing home. Somehow these brain retreats boost my mood and spirits – give me something positive on which to focus. Future gazing, as it were.
Sometimes that can be a treacherous path, but I’m finding that, in this instance, it is more than gazing, it is planning. And there is nothing like making plans with your life’s partner, and working toward the same goal, together.
When my husband and I first began to discuss the possibility of building a house, it seemed like such a grand undertaking. Overwhelming, really. In many ways, it still can be a lot to process. But, somewhere along the way, it felt like our hearts and minds aligned.
We are very different people, Shey and I. But I’m finding that, when we are focused on a goal like this enormous life change, and we have unity over it, we lean on each other more. I believe this process has already made us better, together, and I have no reason to think that will change.
I know there are more stressful days ahead, but I don’t fear them, or the circumstances that will create them. I have peace. And hope.
A few weeks ago, I was visiting a local small business. This shop had recently relocated into a new, remodeled building. The proprietor had brought in a new selection of merchandise, and I fell in love with one of the pieces of metal art work.
I came home and told Shey that I had found the first piece of art work I wanted to hang in the new house. This house that, for now, only exists in our minds.
Now, my husband is a great guy. Patient, steady, thoughtful. But he doesn’t like change. He is a creature of habit and he likes it that way. So I have been incredibly surprised at his enthusiasm over the prospect of leaving the house where we’ve shared our lives for the last 13 years to build another.
I think a part of me has worried that he would just shut down our plans and decide it wasn’t worth the stress and uncertainties that exist in the process of selling, then building.
But I came home one day last week, the 13th, after a very aggravating day to find roses and candy on the kitchen table. “Happy Early Valentine’s.” he said.
Later that evening, I headed to our bedroom to change clothes and there, propped against the wall, was the art work I mentioned to him weeks ago. This beautiful sentiment of what I want for him, myself, and our family.
It was more than a gift. It was an affirmation of our joint commitment to each other and the life we want to continue to build together.
It was a promise. A reassurance. And the most meaningful gift he has ever given to me.
So, no, I’m not writing as much these days. I won’t slack on it like this often, but just like when I left Facebook, absence from WordPress these days simply means I am trying to be more present in my actual, physical life.
I’m still here, but, right now, I need to be here. And right now, my journey is taking a new direction. I want to embrace it. Live it. And enjoy every moment.