emotions, empath, empathy, exhaustion, Facebook, friendship, happiness, honesty, INFJ, mental health, personal, self care, self improvement, self-awareness, sensitivity, simplicity, social media, wellness
Blogging is it’s own form of social media, I suppose. But I don’t really think of it as one. In my opinion, it almost sounds…..”dirty” to even put something like WordPress into a social media category.
But whether it is or it isn’t, I did something this past weekend that I believe is going to make me a healthier, happier person.
As of 3/17/18, I deactivated my Facebook account.
I quit Facebook for the same reason I quit smoking: it was killing me.
Not literally, and not obviously, but I knew, in my heart of hearts, that it had become unhealthy for me.
People, in general, are assholes on social media because they can get away with it. They aren’t held to any standards of behavior.
They can hide behind their keyboards. I know, because I’ve hidden behind mine.
They can use passive aggression in ways never before seen until the age of the “like” button.
I’ve been guilty of being the bad guy. The sarcastic one. I’m not above reproach. But I did try to maintain some level of civility. And kindness. And encouragement.
I tried unfollowing those who did not, even unfriending many.
I tried simplifying.
But I came to realize, after giving 10 years to this….thing….that it wasn’t giving me a whole lot in return.
And I’m getting to a point in my life where I am learning how to end one-sided relationships with people and things that don’t think enough of me or have enough to offer back to make the relationship worthwhile.
Where mutual give and take is absent, so is satisfaction.
Yes, there was the ability to keep up with people I don’t see often, if ever. But there’s Instagram for that. And I’m keeping that circle extremely small.
There was the ability for connection. But I have that here, and in my day-to-day life.
I seek validation as much as the next person, and really, that’s all Facebook is designed to do: Hook you up with people that will validate you.
Your most recent vacation.
Your marriage or relationship.
Your newest hairstyle.
Your religion or lack of it.
And after 10 years, I’m through, either consciously or subconsciously, seeking validation this way.
And I’m through giving it.
I’ve written before about being a HSP, or Highly Sensitive Person, and my struggles as an INFJ personality.
Facebook, I think, was as good as it could be for me for as long as it could be. I’ve had people just look at me incredulously whenever something I’ve read or seen on Facebook has gotten under my skin to the point that I actually got fired up and angry, or even hurt my feelings.
Whether you understand that or not is not up to me, nor is it my problem. I want people to understand, but I’m done trying to explain myself to those who think I either take things too seriously, or need to “lighten up”.
There is a saying, “If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.”
And maybe I can’t, but more to the point: I just don’t want to anymore.
Besides, I like porches.
As I get older and know me better, I am giving myself permission for a lot of things that used to be hard for me.
It is finally okay for me to be alone with me.
That used to scare the shit out of me – being alone. I haven’t gotten to the bottom of that yet. But it’s becoming less and less of an issue. In fact, the more I’m alone or with only one or two others, the more I like it.
I’m okay with being removed.
I’m okay with being different.
I’m okay with being misunderstood about it.
I’m okay without Facebook.
I’m okay with saying “No.”
I’m okay with pulling away (when I can) from that which causes me to feel stress and unhappiness.
I’m okay. I’m okay.