Two weeks. It’s not often that I go so long between posting. Sometimes though, life is just….life. Busy. Chaotic, even. And thus has been the case since before Thanksgiving.
What is usually a quiet, catch-up-on-little-tasks time of year for me has been fraught with heavy activity. Professionally mainly, but incorporating that into a busy holiday season as well is proving to be detrimental to my writing.
I’m barely squeezing in one cup of coffee before I have to shower and hit the road these days. Blogging, writing of any kind, even terrible drafts, never to be published, simply hasn’t been done.
Body and mind.
Between the tumble down the stairs that left my ankle sprained and now some sort of back/hip pain from nowhere, I have not been at my best physically.
Mentally, I’m beyond exhausted. Problem-solving, planning, and executing those plans and solutions alongside my daily duties are taking a toll. I’m ready to slow down.
So today, aside from a run to stock the fridge at some point, I’m taking it easy. Trying my best to rest my mind and body before my looming 4 day work week begins.
Starting Friday, I’m taking 6 days off over the Christmas holiday. It can’t be 5 p.m. Thursday soon enough for me.
I’ve barely had time to do any of the things I love to do this time of year. Drive to some of the better Christmas light displays or watch more than a couple of holiday film classics. I did spend the afternoon baking with my mom yesterday, an annual tradition for us. But I even had to scale that back because I just didn’t have the energy to create some of my favorite recipes. Homemade cinnamon rolls? Nah. But I dipped some Oreos and Reagan helped make them festive.
And, in addition to “going home” and getting to see my parents for more than 15 minutes, I also got some pet therapy from this sweet girl:
Roxie always thinks it’s time to play when I show up, but she’s down for a few snuggles too. If I wasn’t gone so much, I think I could talk the Hubs into a dog. But I can’t justify it. It would probably significantly help my stress levels though.
Maybe one day.
I started listening to my Christmas playlist about 2 weeks before Thanksgiving, knowing that I’d be crazy busy during the coming months. Holiday classics and hymns are partly what keep me from plunging into a “Bah! Humbug!” spirit.
Sometimes I just play Celine Dion’s version of “O Holy Night” on repeat to savor the words and maintain a near constant state of goosebumps during the crescendos.
“A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn….
Change shall He bring for the slave is our brother, and in His name all oppression shall cease.”
These words are my meditation these days. The difficult days will pass. Better, more peaceful days lay ahead.
Last year is one of the first that I remember in a long time of not sinking into a holiday depression. I’ve teetered some this year. But only because I have been meeting myself coming back for weeks on end. The music of the season calms my spirit.
I’ve only made it to one Advent service this season and that saddens me. But sometimes physical rest has to take precedence over spiritual. Unfortunately. I have really missed the services though.
In many ways, this has not been the Christmas season I’d envisioned. I have struggled to center and focus on the peace that is within my grasp if I would only tether to it.
It’s not a new struggle for me. But I do think I’m getting a little better at it. I recognize when I need to step back. Step away. Take a breath or 2 or 10.
So that is what I will do today. And for the next 5. Until I can expel one long sigh of relief for the extended break from all that has littered my mind these last few months and weeks.
“It’s comin’ on Christmas, they’re cuttin’ down trees, putting up reindeer and singin’ songs of joy and peace, oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on…..”
Not far. Not for long. Just to a quiet place. Away from the noise and my own cluttered thoughts.
But the new and glorious dawn of Christmas is coming. And the weary world, and this weary writer, will rejoice.
Peace be with you, my friends.